The Wank Pole! I know what you are thinking. A place where otaku congregate to share a good choking of the chicken, waxing of the dolphin, spanking of the monkey or a polishing of Vader’s helmet. A place where you can ‘turn Japanese’ as suggested in the 1980 hit song ‘Turning Japanese‘ by the band The Vapors, popularly interpreted to be a euphemism for masturbation.

Sorry to disappoint. The Wank Pole is a place to tie up your ‘wanko’ outside of convenience stores in Japan. ‘Wanko’ 「わんこ」 is an affectionate term for dog in Japanese. So it is merely a post to clip your dog’s leash whilst you go conbini shopping. If you look close enough at the sign the ‘o’ in ‘wanko’ is actually a paw-print. So, was this a typographic mishap or a sinister ploy by some evil gaijin designer? Perhaps the same evil gaijin who brought us Nuts Bang!!!?

Your prayers have now literally been answered as Apple unveils iGod, the hotly anticipated MP3 praying device! With an MP3 Prayer, you can communicate with your preferred deity or spirit anytime, anywhere. Works seamlessly with the Religion Free DVD Player.

Are you sick of how standard DVD players randomly broadcast religious messages? I mean, you’re in the middle of a good movie and boom, you are blasted with a sermon by some preacher delivering a lecture on some religious or moral topic. Well, new out from Panasonic is the religion-free DVD player. It comes with a built-in religious filter designed to intercept those random religious broadcasts that frequently interrupt your viewing pleasure. The perfect gift for atheists or people who wish to watch a movie without religious interference.

Warning: DVD player will melt if you try and play The Passion of the Christ.

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