In 1999 ‘The WILF’ took Australia by storm in his undies. Enjoying soaring success, things couldn’t have gotten any better for ‘The WILF’. He had progressed from Y-Fronts, to G-Strings, to crotchless. There was nowhere else this man-machine could go. He was at the top, the pinnacle. It was a slip up in early 2000 that cost ‘The WILF’ his career in Australia. A wardrobe malfunction saw a Balmain football sock drop from his crotchless Bonds underwear whilst he was on the catwalk at Blacktown Westfields modelling Bonds’ new flanelette range.There was an uproar. ‘The WILF’ became the Milli Vanilli of the undie-world and was forced to leave the shores of Australia in disgrace.
‘The WILF’, telling his closest friends that he was in the UK, ended up in the Indian sub-continent. To try his luck with a Bollywood movie. Ironically, his first movie was called “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Leopardskins” – a story of the ‘The WILFs’ own personal battle to come out of the closet. A singing and dancing extravaganza. It was a flop. He then had a go at a new movie called “Bend It Like Milford”. The spotlight was on ‘The WILF’. Hounded by the Indian papparazzi, he was snapped in a naked romp with his male co-star. Pictures surfaced of a naked WILF with a clear case of Peyronie’s disease or Induratio Pen!s Plastica or simply abnormal curvature of the pen!s. Hence, ‘The WILFs’ regret for the title of his second movie.
‘The WILF’ was laughed out of India. Some say he returned to Australia where he lives in obscurity.