Japanese speakers who learn English as a second language later than childhood often have difficulty in hearing and producing /l/ and /r/ accurately. The advertisement below for the book On The Brink: Inside the Race to Stop the Collapse of the Global Financial System is an example of the difficulty that native Japanese speakers have in perceiving the acoustic differences between English /r/ and /l/.

Hank Paulson, the former CEO of Goldman Sachs, was at the absolute epicentre of the recent economic storm, and his account of how he dealt with the greatest financial crisis since the Great Depression was quite appropriately translated into Engrish: “On The Blink”: an idiom for malfunctioning, out of order or broken. As opposed to “brink”: verge, the limit beyond which something happens or changes, the edge of a steep place.

The book title ‘On The Brink’ suggests that we were on the verge of disaster hanging on the edge of collapse whereas ‘On The Blink’ softens it somewhat to mean a slight malfunction that can be fixed like one of those vintage televisions where you just gave it a hit on it’s side to get it working again.

White trash is slur that usually refers to poor white people. The derogatory term suggests a lower social class and degraded living standards. In Japan however White Trash Charms Japan is a boutique store found in Roppongi Hills and, as the name suggests, most likely the exclusive retailer to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. It is also probably the provider of services such as mullet trimming, acid washing, trailer insurance, gun polishing and camel toe alignment.

The Wank Pole! I know what you are thinking. A place where otaku congregate to share a good choking of the chicken, waxing of the dolphin, spanking of the monkey or a polishing of Vader’s helmet. A place where you can ‘turn Japanese’ as suggested in the 1980 hit song ‘Turning Japanese‘ by the band The Vapors, popularly interpreted to be a euphemism for masturbation.

Sorry to disappoint. The Wank Pole is a place to tie up your ‘wanko’ outside of convenience stores in Japan. ‘Wanko’ 「わんこ」 is an affectionate term for dog in Japanese. So it is merely a post to clip your dog’s leash whilst you go conbini shopping. If you look close enough at the sign the ‘o’ in ‘wanko’ is actually a paw-print. So, was this a typographic mishap or a sinister ploy by some evil gaijin designer? Perhaps the same evil gaijin who brought us Nuts Bang!!!?

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