“To get and maintain the perfect visage, you don’t need the cosmetic surgeon’s knife. All you need is a mouthpiece. Yes, the Face Slimmer is a simple solution to the timeless problem of how to give sagging facial skin and muscles that much-needed daily lift. Just three minutes per day is all you need; pop in the mold and then make mouth movements. The makers recommend you say vowel sounds out loud over and over again, producing regular and methodical exercises that will strength the twelve facial expression muscles in a comprehensive way.”

The Face Slimmer, Japenese Anti-Wrinke Device

Now come one! Who falls for this shit? Is this really an anti-wrinkle device or is it the result of a society that have been become so dependent upon sex dolls that, when it come to the real thing, they are only stimulated by the sensual touch of plastic? Or maybe this is the marketing angle:

Are you looking for a man in a society that has a declining population? Are you searching for a companion but find yourself competing with sexy anime characters and life-like love dolls? Well, fear not, we have the device that will win hearts for you. Just pop this silicone badboy into your mouth and we’ll have you looking like a Dutch wife with a perfect pair of blow job lips in no time. Batteries sold separately.

A big up to Fidel Hart from Scene With A Hart for pointing me in the direction of this awesome Valentine’s Day gift.

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